TRIBUTE TO AN UNSUNG MOTHER

I met her a month after our wedding in 1967. SHE was a family friend of my in-laws. A very  graceful lady with a smiling face. Her husband was a soft spoken person and the two kids, a son and a daughter, both school-going, were gems.

Till we were in Madras, the family would visit us once in a while. Or , we would call on them.  

We were transferred to Ooty for a few months and came back to Madras again. My kid was born and somewhere around that time, her husband suffered a massive cardiac arrest . He just ceased to be. The lady, a wonderful and efficient mother brought up the children with care. It was sad, seeing her without him by her side. SHE was an excellent Veena artist. The daughter too played the instrument and continues to, even today. I knew just this much about her at that time.

We left Madras again on transfer and wandered all over the country. We kept hearing about her from her two sisters who would get in touch with us once in a while. My in-laws had left this world too and we were busy with our own family.

SHE attended the marriage of our son and subsequently the seemantham too.Our nomadic life continued and the years ’96 to 2000 saw us  in Delhi. After ages, we had a call from her while we were there and family news was exchanged. The daughter had got married and was leading a very happy life, giving veena concerts once in a while. The son had got married too.

Finally, after my husband`s retirement from service, we came to Chennai to settle down and her house was just a few minutes walk from ours.

The relationship blossomed again and so did my life long ambition. I had been yearning to learn vocal music and was hunting for a teacher all these years. As a student, I had studied Veena  but had given it up, a few years after  marriage. This passion to learn vocal music was raging in me, till one day, I requested her whether SHE would teach me. A very knowledgeable lady, SHE knew Sanskrit, Malayalam, Hindi and Telugu apart from Tamil and English. SHE used to teach Sanskrit to school-going kids. SHE was only too happy and agreed to teach me vocal music.

So in the month of April, 2003, I started learning Music from her. Three days a week, it was.I used to look forward to these sessions. I had never had any  practical singing  experience in Classical music, though I used to take part in Music competitions in school and college.

A few classes and the entire perspective of  music underwent a sea change. From just appreciation and enthusiasm, my attitude to music took a new dimension ; one of involvement, dedication and spirituality.

She would explain the meaning of the song before she started teaching  it. She would relate stories connected with the Trinity. She would insist that the song should come from the pit of the stomach and the core of the heart and that every word should be savoured and felt deeply. Thus I learnt so much about Dikshithar, Thyagayyar, Shyama Sastry, Appayya Dikshithar and many others. SHE would relate the circumstances under which a song was composed. I had a little bit of inhibition that I may not be able to get the flow of the ragas. But she encouraged me so much and I felt I could, if I tried! In fact, she told me that I was doing a great job by learning three songs in a month.

The sixth in the row was to be in the Raga Bhairavi, a Swara Jathi by Shyama Sastry. I had a call from my aunt the previous day (she herself is a very good Veena player) asking me what was the next song I was going to learn. When I told her, she said,

“Bhairavi Swara Jathi ? That’s very tough. I don’t know how you are going to learn it.”

I was scared.
I need not have been. SHE gave me the whole life-history of Shyama Shastry and told me to seek  His blessings before delving into the song. We started and to this day, I really do not know how I was able to remember the Swaras and words. It was complicated…to a beginner like me. I learnt it in three classes. SHE was even more  happy than I was. SHE said it was Shree Shyama Sastry’s grace.

In the next class, SHE told me that even though I was learning music only for myself and to sing at home, I should learn the Raga Alapana, as it would give a good grounding. She wanted me to keep singing the first few lessons and keep humming and singing loud too.

In the next class, SHE told me.  “Today you do Alapanai in Bhairavi.”

I said, “I can’t”.

 SHE said,
 “Just try. Even if it is a few lines it is fine. Just to see if you can bring out the soul of the raga” She was an expert in this. Within a few seconds, she would enlighten me on the Raga she was singing. No going around in  a Parikrama…just a straight walk into the Sanctum Sanctorum. Then it would be a Divine Darshan.

 I closed my eyes and started. I felt I was doing a good stuff. After a few seconds I stopped. 
SHE was smiling at me.

“A nice transition it was,” SHE said.

I had started with Bhairavi and had happily jumped on to the Mukari wagon.

She explained the subtle difference by singing both these Ragas.

I had told her that I wanted to learn Dikshithar’s Navavarana and Navagraha Krithis. She had agreed to teach them. My worship of Dikshithar commenced in that room.

But no. My music lessons came to an abrupt end, as SHE was sent away unceremoniously to an Old Age Home. Since this is a tribute to her, I don’t want to delve into those unfortunate circumstances.  A wonderful Mother, a very nice non-interfering mother-in-law, I still wonder why this had to happen to her. She was like a Queen when her husband was alive. Never gave up her courage and brought up her kids so well. To see her thus, hurt me and my husband so much.

We made a few visits to the Old Age Home where SHE was staying .Deep inside,a shattered person, who missed her two grandsons and the family. The last visit was on Vishu Day in 2006.SHE had just been served two Vadas and a cup of tea. She insisted on sharing the Vadas with us. Her Veena was there in the room. She was playing the Instrument in the small Temple Hall there, she said. On the shelf in the room was a big picture of Goddess Kamakshi, one of Shree Maha Periyavar of Kanchi Kamakoti Peetam and one Shree Kamakshi Baba who was her Guru. SHE had told me at large about this evolved soul too. She has published a book on Goddess Mookambika. She had also got Diksha from the Swamiji at the Ramakrishna Mutt. But we could see that SHE missed people. As we were about to leave, SHE gave us Vishu Kaineettams.

A year ago, before Diwali, I had a call from her son’s place (near our home, where SHE used to be). SHE had come down and was leaving for Bangalore, her daughter’s house by the night train. It was late evening, but I rushed to meet her. As usual, she enquired about our son and his family  and asked if I was continuing my classes. I told her that I was learning from cassettes. I also told her that SHE had inspired me to know more about the Soul of music and  that I was working on the songs of Shree Dikshithar. She was very happy.

That was the last I heard of her. The last, I saw her.
 

We used to talk about her once in a while. SHE used to come home quite a few times, stay for lunch, sleep for an hour and have tea with us and leave for her son’s place  ( with great reluctance), while SHE was in Chennai .  

On the 5^th of this month, exactly five days back, my husband and I were in the Kovai Express, on our way to Salem to attend a wedding. Very strangely, only the previous day, I had told him that I should call up her daughter in Bangalore and talk to her.

We opened the newspaper which was left in the seat as a complimentary copy. There was this obit, with her photograph. SHE had expired the previous day.

A Lady who lived like queen….what a way to go.

Probably SHE is up there singing along with Goddess Sarawathy.

 Tomorrow is Mother’s Day .In dedication, I place this small flower at HER feet.